Category Archives: Family updates

Life in the Poop [not that kind].

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Returning home full-time to be with kids is like running a marathon. In fact, its like running a marathon with little training, just because you “have done it before”. You end up crossing the line looking like you aged 35 years and have osteoporosis ( I know because I have done it).

Well, everything hurts in this “home-race”. I forgot what it takes. I love it, but I am building up some serious scar tissue.

The kids are growing and have their own idiosyncrasies  talents that make a full day at with them at home with them very interesting:

  • Xav grunts for everything. He reminds me of Sloth from the Goonies. And like Sloth, he is kinda cute and I even understand him.
  • Ysabeau assures me that any idea she has is “gonna be just fine mom” or “you don’t need to worry” or “just count to five if you are frustrated”.
  • Ethan, without a malicious bone in his body,  is in a stage where he really can’t retain any instructions I give him, so I find myself having the same conversations with him most days

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Ysabeau still loves playing pretend, above all other things. While the Christmas story has wained in popularity (six months later) the other day she did insist: “I be Mary and you be Joseph and let’s get on our Unicorn”. Fantasy and super heroes are certainly taking centre stage right now.

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She painted this picture and told the drop-in preschool teacher that it was Princess Leia in the top corner, a light saber in green in the left corner, and various other galactic characters she only hears about from her brother. All bright pink. Perfect.

I have been reading The Chronicles of Narnia out loud to Ethan. I love reading mid- twentieth century British kids stories to him, especially because so much is lost on him (and me), and ultimately becomes humorous.

We are reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader which obviously take place on a ship.

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At one point a sea serpent is threatening the ship and the paragraph reads:

And now the real danger was at hand. Could they get it over the poop, or was it already too tight? Yes. It would just fit. It was  resting on the poop rails. A dozen or more sprang up on the poop. The sea serpents body was so low now that they make a line across the poop and push side by side… “An Axe,” cried Caspian hoarsely, “and still shove.” Lucy, who knew where everything was, heard him where she was standing on the main deck staring up at the poop.

And more poop.

Despite having to google what a “poop” is on a tall ship, for Ethan (and for me), and reminding him that its the end of the ship near the tiller, we both can’t help but giggle every time the word comes up ….and it always does, in quick succession.

But I am also slightly embarrassed at how little my British kids fail to meet British ship-knowledge standards. I remember visiting British friends one summer in the south of England and their boys, 2 and 4 at the time, were playing ship games and were shouting directions to each other using words I can only pretend to understand like “starboard”, “stern” and “aft”. I thought I should start telling people I was from the colonies.

Well, we now know what the “poop” is….we can start adding nautical words to our repertoire.

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Lewis is delightfully politically incorrect as well. He writes almost mockingly about the parents of a very spoiled child  (and the child too) in this book and describes them thus:

They were very up-to-date and advanced people. They were vegetarians, non-smokers and tee-totallers and wore a special kind of underclothes. In their house there was very little furniture and very few clothes on beds and the windows were always open. Eustace Clarence liked animals, especially beetles, if they were dead and pinned on a card. He liked books if they were books of information and had pictures of grain elevators or of fat foreign children doing exercises in model schools.”

Basically he doesn’t seem to like people who are into fads. I had to laugh because he clearly doesn’t like minimalists, and I have kind of bought into it. I wonder what he would think  of Marie Kondo.

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I was going to “Marie Kondo” these out of the house but who can get rid of “Star Wars: Wookie Cookies Cookbook”. I’m keeping them. C.S. Lewis would be proud.

He has a point though. I gave away any bridesmaid dress I ever wore. Ysabeau would otherwise have been deprived of dressing up like this but thanks to a good friend, she was given a selection of old keepsakes to play with. What delight!

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But words are a funny thing and I realize just how hard it is to truly grasp any language, especially when living with a child who is ESL.

I have been telling Ysabeau not to say or do some things simply because (for expediency) – “it is inappropriate”.  Ethan has now taken to telling on Ysabeau when she is doing something wrong by shouting loudly “MISAPPROPRIATION!!”

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Saying goodbye to our Working-Holiday nanny Elise.

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Ethan teaching the padawan

As I am adjusting to the rhythm of life at home again, I thankful for an article a friend sent to me called The Domestic Monastery.

While I thought about equating home life to the “poop” on the ship (it really does seem to be where all the important stuff and any action happens on a vessel), this analogy is probably better.

I have spent a lot of time considering these words and letting them be a balm for my mental world that seems frustrated by this adjustment.

For example, the mother who stays home with small children experiences a very real withdrawal from the world. Her existence is definitely monastic. Her tasks and preoccupations remove her from the centres of power and social importance. And she feels it. Moreover her sustained contact with young children (the mildest of the mild) gives her a privileged opportunity to be in harmony with the mild, that is, to attune herself to the powerlessness rather than to the powerful.
The principles of monasticism are time-tested, saint-sanctioned, and altogether-trustworthy. But there are different kinds of monasteries, different ways of putting ourselves into harmony with the mild, and different kinds of monastic bells. Response to duty can be monastic prayer, a needy hand can be a monastic bell, and working without status and power can constitute a withdrawal into a monastery where God can meet us. The domestic can be the monastic.

My stepmom once told me (before I was a Catholic) that if I had been raised a Catholic, she thought I would have become a nun.

Well, in a way I am!

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God walks among the pots and pans {pretty, happy, funny, real}

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On March break I took the older kids to Well-Read Books – a cozy second hand book store with a beautifully contained section that feels like a living room for kids. There are perfectly sized chairs for the wee ones and children’s books organized in manageable themes. And just the right amount of books – not too many. Sometimes at the library it feels like there is too much to choose from, especially when the baby has got lost somewhere in the “M-P Kids Fiction” isle and the toddler is fighting another kid for the barbie in the toy area (barbies in the library, really?).

We quite happily spent  45 minutes in this store looking at books and left with a stack priced at an average of $2 a piece. Score.

And then we retreated home and to the cozy the book nook that is a favorite get-away for everyone, when there seems like there is no place to just be alone.

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I also walked away with an old set of kids encyclopedias after inquiring if they had some. They gave me a partial set for $5  as no one is really looking for these anymore. In fact, its the same set I had as a kid!

I wanted them because every time Ethan has a question about something (Ethan: “When is the Earth going to explode?”. Me: “Do you mean the sun?”. Ethan: “No, I mean the Earth”) and I direct him to try and find out on his own, he asks to go on the internet.

Again, I am no Luddite but I am not a fan of this option. You should see the sites that come up when he enters “exploding earth” into google – and I guarantee  he won’t pick the Wikipedia site but searches according to images leading him to some rather some apocalyptic site promoting a new escape pod.

So instead he gets some 90’s graphics but also some relatively accurate information about our aging sun (sans exploding earth).

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We are trying to give Ysabeau at least one chore every day that she can do, so the 10 year old doesn’t feel like he is entirely singled out. She seems to enjoy cleaning the table, with an eye for spotlessness that only her mother can appreciate.

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This new book release by Bishop Robert Barron makes me happy-  Vibrant Paradoxes: The both/And of Catholicism.

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This book is a supposed to be a philosophical narrative rather than one of Barron’s easily digestible popular books. Nonetheless, I expect it will be delightfully manageable book compared to those of many great Catholic theologians.

For my secular friends who ask: Why would you be excited about this book? Because it will be a defense of why Catholicism is not simply a black and white solution for those who can’t handle the gray of life. Catholics hold to beliefs that are seeming opposites, held not in tension, but in a beautiful dance where harmony and balance is the outcome of a mesmerizing pas-de-deux.

 Justice/mercy. God/man. Authority/liberty. Faith/reason. Corporateness/individualism. These are pairings that might seem contradictory, but ultimately can only make sense in relation to one another. In Catholicism, the answer is not a blending of the two but the unique suspension of ‘Both/And’, where the integrity of each aspect is honoured.

Personally, I find some many of the frustrations we have in society are created when we decide not to live in the (at times uncomfortable) dance of these disparate pairings, but rather choose one over the other.

For example, in fear of blending into an undefined corporateness in our families, schools or societies, we perhaps have overemphasized the role of the individual. Instead, I like this ‘Both/And’ approach. It is very sensible. Though it is most certainly a mystery, meaning we can grasp it but but it is certainly a less comfortable answer at first.

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My kids are serious about food.

My neighbour captured these great pics of Ysabeau trying to wink. I love the things we adults take for granted – I feel like patting myself on the back that I learned to do this when I see how hard it actually is to make it second nature.

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I am so glad winter is almost over. Mostly because I am done with the icy puddle that is perpetually my entrance. I so happy with the layout our home except for this entrance area. I feel it was designed for a kid-less home. Here I am demonstrating what Ian likes to call “staging”. The things on the stairs might move – in the next century. I can’t figure out how to make this space work better.

But my friend shared with me a quote attributed to St. Teresa of Avila -“God walks even among the pots and pans.” The home is a sacred space.

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I am increasingly happy with our office space which sits to at the top of this entrance area and is connected to the kitchen and dining area. Again, space is a premium here so I carefully calculate how each corner and nook can be used.

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Here is our latest family pic. I credit Ian entirely.  I had to share with you one of the trial shots as the camera was precariously balanced on the stroller and time-set so that Ian had to run back over to us each time. The final edition was only the 15th shot. The kids stayed remarkably silly composed.

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This post is a link up with Like Mother, Like Daughter.

A gracious week

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It’s been about over two months since I posted last. Why the hiatus? Two people working full time. We basically spent most of our time doing this: Making lunches.

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Daycare is serious stuff. It’s not your momma’s daycare that we have to make lunch for. No processed foods, all the food groups have to be in the box, enough for two snacks and lunch. No juice boxes. I’m glad the daycares have to be strict. It makes sense. But now that I have time to blog, which means I am home and not working as much, I am reminded that my kids just get last night’s leftovers. They’ll be asking to go back to daycare soon enough.

But yes, I am back home. Having to prepare five lunches every night basically lost out on the cost benefit analysis of me working full time.

So I am returning home to this:

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Which isn’t so bad.

My first week mostly back at home with the kids – except for two days a week – was actually a fairly big week. Ysabeau has a new word for “big”. The other day she was sitting on the toilet and said ” Mom, you gotta come see this. I did a gracious poo”. She has used it a few more times in that context and I have come to figure out that “gracious” means “big. I am not correcting her because I kinda like it.

This has been a “gracious” winter for sickness. Our kids got sick, really sick, and then gave it to our neighbours kids just in time for the week they spent with us. Cute kids, impeccable timing. It’s ok though as I am pretty sure my kids have peed on their couches before, and they looked after the oldest when he had pink eye. It all works out.

They stayed with us the last week of January which we all know contains the dreaded “Black Monday”- the most depressing day of the year.  Visa statements come in, darkness seems to rule the world. I baked a cake on that Monday and forced everyone to have a really gracious day. It turned out pretty good even though I still had to pay the visa bill.

Here are a few leftover pictures from Christmas time and Xavier’s birthday. Star Wars was definitely the toy/brand/game/dress-up theme of choice this year. Here is our neighbour dressed up as a Jedi.

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Xavier  is already 14 months (more on him later). He certainly isn’t as happy right now as he was in his first year. It could be that Xavier, as the offspring of two people with significant choppers, is pushing through baby teeth that are equivalent to the adult teeth of some people I know. Its okay though, his teething choices make for some comedic relief.

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More pictures coming soon!